The Importance of Fathers

I have been able to see the importance of fathers very starkly while growing up. A lot of my friends didn’t have fathers in their lives, whether because of divorce, death, or other circumstances. I was able to get a glimpse at the importance of my own father in my personal development. Like many fathers, mine was the main disciplinary figure in the family. If something needed to be fixed, he was there to point it out and put us back on the right path. I didn’t always like that, but he taught us to value others, especially my momma. All of us kids grew to have a deep love and respect for her, and the answer in my house to any question my mom had was “Yes ma’am momma.” Haha I will always be grateful I was taught that respect from my father at a young age.

Another important role fathers play is to interact and spend wholesome time with their children. Some of my fondest memories growing up are doing things with my dad, like going camping, playing football in the front yard, or my all-time favorite, skipping competitions (he always let me win, even though I knew he could easily go faster with his long legs). Science has proven that father and child interaction, especially will playing together, has a deep impact on the mental and social well-being if the father and child play together. In one article I read on fathers, it said that when fathers roughhouse or tease their kids, it allows them to both get out aggression in positive ways. It improves their bond and allows them to be silly together. I think being able to see more than one side to a father really improves your relationship and helps you understand them better as a person. It shouldn’t always be fun and games or always discipline. Fathers play a crucial role in balancing both!

Another benefit I found really interesting that fathers have is in decreasing rates of depression, anxiety, and anti-social tendencies in their kids. Children who have an active father figure in the home are more likely to be outgoing and more personable than those who do not. I think one of the biggest reasons is that fathers do a lot of building up of their children. In my experience, fathers are more likely than mothers to encourage children to meet a goal versus be validated. When the child is encouraged to do something by themselves, they realize their hard work paid off and it helps to boost their self-esteem. In most cases, mothers have more of an impact in boosting self-esteem when they validate and nurture, and fathers impact their children more when they promote a goal or self-sufficiency. Kind of interesting.

I think one of the biggest things I want to be present in my future family is a love and involvement of the family. I love and appreciate my dad very dearly now, but we didn’t have a very good relationship until after I had graduated high school. There are always problems that get in the way of relationships, like my father worked a lot to make ends meet and participated in a lot of church callings that took him away from home more than I wanted. I don’t fault him for that, he was doing what he could to support the family, which is important. But, I think if there had been that relationship forging a long time ago, maybe we could have started the great relationship we have now earlier. I think that could have effected a lot of things growing up!

One of the last ways I found to strengthen the family is to have the parent be co-partners in the raising of a family. A strong family system should have a hierarchy. I know that sounds terrible, but let me explain. I want my husband to have a deeper closeness to me than anyone else, especially our children. I think when there’s that respect and honesty between partners, you can discuss together how to best meet the needs of your children. And that’s how it should be in my book. Fathers are so important, why would we try to belittle their value or put their influence on the back burner? Having a father present is one of the best ways to ensure that the family is successful!