Why Active Parents Are Essential

I am super super excited to talk about active parents because it is something that blessed my life so much growing up. I had parents who taught me to own up to every choice I made, whether good or bad. They balanced very well (in my opinion) accountability and respect when disciplining their children. I hope to be able to be even half as supportive to my children when I’m a parent. Active parenting comes when parents are involved in the welfare of their child. They want their children to succeed and be able to be accountable for their own growth and future! The biggest example of active parenting that comes to my mind is teaching children how to work. There are countless times that I have been able to work side-by-side with my parents and learn a good work ethic. It wasn’t always fun. I didn’t always like it. In fact, I rarely appreciated it while it was happening, but afterwards felt the incredible influence my parents had had on me in creating a value for work.

 For example, I grew up in a little farming community and every year went with my family to a huge potato pick. After we had gleaned the fields, we hauled the potatoes home and into the basement. It was an all day thing, and no one got out of it (even if we tried haha). My mom also taught me how to quilt when I was pretty young. I would go with her to quilt whenever she needed help. At first, all my “helping” was was her poking the needle down the blanket and me sticking it back through for her. I know I wasn’t a ton of help, but I look back on those memories with fondness. There are very few cases I can think of where neither of my parents were beside us kids working as well. I think that’s an important quality of active parents. They grow along with you, and will never expect you to do something they wouldn’t.

One of the biggest attributes of active parents I can think of, besides working with your children, is to help them understand natural consequences. Active parents don’t step in prematurely when their children are struggling. If it is safe, they will help their children to gradually understand the consequences of their actions on a personal level. Of course I have an example that happened to me. A few months after I got my drivers license… You already know where this story is going.. I hit someone’s car in a parking lot. I freaked out and contacted my mom, who told me to wait by that person’s car after school and make things right. She didn’t come and do it for me, though I desperately wanted her to! That night, my dad and I had a discussion about what had happened, why it happened, and what we were going to do about it. We agreed that there needed to be some logical consequences, and he supported me every step of the way. It was probably one of the worst situations in my whole life, but I learned very quickly from it because my parents allowed it to be a growing opportunity rather than a shaming one.

When I look back and think about all of the examples I have of my own parents being active in my growth, I am overwhelmed. There really is a healthy way to approach failure that allows your children to grow. When a parent shames or abuses a child (in any way) it inhibits the growth that could be occurring on both sides. Parents need to show confidence and support in the children always! The teenage years should be a cycle of success and support, and not one of failure and shaming. As parents strive to let their children grow from their mistakes, learn important values through trial and error, and come up with positive ways to deal with failure and needs, the whole family is blessed. Active parents set up their children to grow in any environment they are in because they already know how to respect themselves and cultivate a positive outlook on any situation.