The Effects of Individualism on the Family

     

         Individualism. It's a word that drives our society. It's a word that drives us. Individualism  seems to be a worthy desire. It pushes us to be better, to get ahead in our career, and even to love ourselves. But, in the world today, it may also have a toxic undertone that we never realize. Now, you're probably thinking, "What are the downsides to individualism and how does that even relate to family?" It may not seem like it, but individualism has had as much of a crippling effect on families as it has good.

Both marrying and starting families have taken a back seat to many things, the most widely known being financial stability and starting a career. These things, while good and important, have also lead people to believe that companionship and having children are not necessary anymore. The mentality today is that if I can do it by myself, I don’t need anyone else to help me. This kind of thinking has lead to many of the trends we see in the world today. Some of those being:

 Living alone (specifically while taking care of children)

 Increased cohabitation

 Children out of wedlock

 Larger amounts of premarital sex

 Smaller household size

 Lower birth rate worldwide

 More employed mothers with children under the age of 6 at home

       So why does this list matter? Are all these changes bad? Some would argue that they’re not, but I would wholeheartedly disagree. Family is the most important relationship we could ever build on this earth. It should be a place of comfort, love, and most importantly growth. When people don’t have the opportunity to learn in a family setting, they won’t have the same advantages in later life either.

As naturally social creatures, we all have a desire and need of companionship and love in our lives. But, today this desire is disconnecting intimacy with the supporting of family. In the past, people got married so they could have a family and support them while sharing love and intimacy inside that relationship. Today, physical gratification is easy to come by, and has no tying connections.

I think that one large reason relationships fall apart so easily is because there is often no true work put in to maintain it and make it stronger. If things get hard, people are encouraged to “do what’s best” for themselves, even if that’s not what’s best for other people (especially their kids). When you look closer at the trends listed above, you can tell that many of these come from our obsession with being our own person and looking out for number one.

So what can we do? These trends have affected us and our families, and will continue to do so. There are two main ideas of how to accomplish this; make stronger marriages and families, or promote divorce less. But, I think the best way to increase happiness in family life, and move away from these trends, is to work at building stronger families. Promote them everywhere you go! Inside your own family, build relationships and bonds that will last forever.

      We are all important and valuable as individuals. We are stronger and more influential as families. We can cultivate individualism to mean how can I create qualities in myself that will helpful and important in the family? How can I build my character traits so that I can serve God better? If we change toxic individualism into a more conscientious desire to create a stronger, healthier world through families, we’ll have done our job.